Showing posts with label Tapestry weaving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tapestry weaving. Show all posts

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Trying on Some New Genes

These illustrations are by my great-grandmother Sarah.

"The Book of Grasses: An Illustrated Guide to the Common Grasses, and the Most Common of Rushes and Sedges"
Written by Mary Evans Franics, Illustrated by HH Knight, Arthur G. Eldredge, and Sarah Francis Dorrance
1912, Doubleday, Page and Company, Garden City, New York.

(1920 reprint has the author listed as Mary Francis Baker?)

This is the only photo that my mother has of Sarah.
I'm not sure what year this was taken, or of her age in the photo.

Bello has found a new spot to sleep while I am weaving.
Yes, he's a big boy!



Smaller components of a larger work in progress, wool and copper wire. Sarah's photo is pinned to the wall for inspiration.




I had an epiphanic moment about two weeks ago, and my thoughts have been consumed since by a desire to dig deep into family roots and to find answers that have been missing for years.

For weeks I have been lacking inspiration for a weaving project. I had been obsessed with the factory sculpture and a deadline for some sort of tapestry was looming. Each day that passed, anxiety built because I just couldn't come up with something new that would be different than what I had done in the past.

On a snowy April Fool's morning, due to school cancellation, I had the luxury to move at a slower-than-normal pace. I eventually sauntered out of bed and when I looked in the mirror I felt that I was looking at a stranger, though the face felt quite familiar. I thought I resembled someone who might have lived in the 1920's. Then it came to me that I was "looking" at my great-grandmother Sarah.

Sarah has always been somewhat of a mystery to me. We knew very little of her life and over the years have pieced together the tiniest tidbits of information. The family story is long and complex but I will try to explain in simplified form, and in a respectful manner, why we know so little of her.

Sarah is my maternal great-grandmother. She was the mother of my mother's father, whom I called Grampa Sam. Grampa Sam was only eighteen when his parents died. Sarah and my great-grandfather Henry's car was struck by a train in Plainfield, Connecticut, in 1924. Only a few months before, Sarah's sixteen year old daughter, Amy, had drown, and in 1912 her one-year-old baby Sarah had died. The eldest sibling, Joanna, lived until the early 1960's, never married or with child.

Over the years, Grampa Sam told my mother stories that he remembered of his mother, but they were few. When he was a sick child and quarantined, Sarah, who loved nature, found a way to sneak him out into the gardens. She was an artist: a painter and a jewelry designer who worked for Tiffany's of New York. Her father was a minister, and she had an intense interest in genealogy. She was on return from a genealogy conference in Boston, where she was a speaker, when Henry had just picked her up from the train station shortly before they collided with a train.

When my grandfather died in the mid 1990's, we went to Connecticut for his burial. At that time, we first met Merle, a distant cousin to Grampa Sam's father. Merle's family, as I understand, sort of watched over my grandfather after his parents died. During this brief visit, Merle gave me a simple tall, thin, clear handblown glass that Sarah had once kept her paintbrushes in, telling me that Sarah would want me to have it as I too was an artist.

I have held on to that glass for years. In fact, that morning I looked in the mirror and saw Sarah in my own face, I had just moments before taken one of my own paintbrushes out of Sarah's glass to use for a project.

The last time I tried to research Sarah was in the mid 1990's after my grandfather's passing. I wrote a letter to Tiffany's & Co. to see if they kept record of their designers. A response came back to me that a search would cost a few hundred dollars. I didn't have that kind of money and let it go. I always held onto, though, that my great grandmother was an artist and perhaps that is in part why I am as well. Maybe, I thought, it was in the family genes.

But I always felt a bit of a disconnect in that I really wasn't a painter. My mom is a painter, and my sister a jeweler, so that made sense, as I had always heard Sarah described as a painter and jewelry designer. But where was my connection?

Even though it seemed a longshot, I decided to do an internet search for info about my great-grandmother. I was surprised that her name did indeed show-up. She was listed as an illustrator for a book about grasses. Without hesitation, I ordered the 1912 book sight unseen and listed as "condition unknown."

I continued the search and to my surprise, once more, I found her in a 1904 New York Times article in the Modern Arts and Crafts section - Objects of Applied Arts by American and Foreign Artisans.

"An interesting vein is being worked in textiles by Mrs. Sarah Francis Dorrance, who is known for her quiet, tasteful work in basketry. She uses native grasses to weave designs on crash, and produces individual work of a gentle, unobtrusive kind."

A weaver. Sarah was a weaver.

I finally found my connection. Is this why I was so taken with weaving from the first moment I held a loom?

Everything changed for me in that moment. Inspiration returned at the thought of Sarah trying something new with her weaving. And from there, a flood of other questions. Did she spend time in New York? Where did she grow up? When was her birthday? Was she also a potter? Which artists did she admire? Did she weave tapestries? What is her ancestry?

My mother told me that she thought I looked like Sarah, though Grampa Sam used to say that I reminded him of his sister Amy who had drown and who he was very close to. Either way, I now have another connection in that I physically resemble my ancestors.

is this what it is like for someone who is adopted? To feel that desire to know their biological roots? To wonder who they look like, or why they have a certain unexplained habit or fondness for a particular art, music, or some other talent?

I have continued my search, and found a second NYT article from 1900 that mentions Sarah as showing her baskets in a show under the Arts and Crafts Guild of New York. I also hold dear the book of grasses that finally arrived in the mail. Each drawing a piece of my great-grandmother. I also find myself amused that she signs each of her drawings with her initials in a manner that resembles the chop signature that I use on my clay pieces.

The search continues, feeling a sudden passion for genealogy, as Sarah once had.

I will close with a quote from the introduction of the book, so beautifully and poetically written that it brought me to tears as I read it yesterday. I am not sure how exactly Mary Evans Francis is related, but I am sure that she must be, sharing the maiden name of my great-grandmother. I am filled with anticipation as I "climb" the family tree searching for answers.

"Grasses yield us the earliest intimations of spring, as a faint flush of green, in harmony with the soft colours of the April woods, tinges the brown hillsides before snows have ceased. The first grasses are more delicately coloured than are those of midsummer when the sun burns red and purple into the tiny flowers. The green spikelets of many spring grasses depend for colour upon their lightly poised anthers of lavender and gold."

"The Book of Grasses: An Illustrated Guide to the Common Grasses, and the Most Common of Rushes and Sedges" Written by Mary Evans Franics, Illustrated by HH Knight, Arthur G. Eldredge, and Sarah Francis Dorrance, 1912, Doubleday, Page and Company, Garden City, New York.

Update: The inscription in the book reads "To S.E.F.D." (Sarah Evans Francis Dorrance) So the new line of thought is that the author, Mary Evans Francis, is either a mother, aunt, or sister to my great-grandmother Sarah.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Sounds of Silence

Day after the first real snowstorm of the season. Yep! It warranted a snow day!

Sometimes you just have to take a hammer to a piece and start all over.

Bello has been feeling neglected lately. He made his way onto my lap despite my continuing to weave.


Last time I blogged I was crossing my fingers for a snow day. I sent out an all points request (begging) to the Weather Gods to please, please, please, give me a free day to get some work done (ironic, isn't it? a "free day" to do work).

Well, I guess the Weather Gods heard me, because next morning at 5:30 a.m. I the phone rang. School canceled. And it should have been, too. It was a nasty frozen mess out there with a mix of sleet and snow. Definitely not good conditions for anyone to be driving in. I was ecstatic. I laid my head back down on the pillow and snoozed another 45 minutes. When I woke, thinking of all the things I could get done that day, I noticed an unusual stillness. There were no sounds of heaters, no hum of appliances: just the sound of distant blowing wind.

Hmmmm.

The Weather Gods giveth. The Weather Gods taketh.

My hopes and plans fizzled as I realized that the power was out. How would I get my 10 million things on the to-do list done without power? I needed heat to be comfy. I needed light to do the finer, more detailed work. No electric toys to help dry paint?

Not knowing how long we would be without power, my first instinct was to shower before the hot water cooled. Once that was accomplished I clothed in the warmest wools and layers I could get my hands on. I turned on the Jotul stove, pulled up a rocking chair, placed a camp lamp beside me, and began to weave. I sat toasty by the stove, creating, while watching snow fall briskly outside.

The silence is not something I am used to, but that morning, it felt incredibly comfortable. I worked for about three hours in that spot, thinking how this was the norm for so many not so long ago. This silence. With only my thoughts to entertain. I felt peaceful. Focused.

Chris eventually sauntered down the stairs. His camping skills came in handy as he pulled out a tiny single-burner stove and prepared us scrambled eggs and hot water for coffee and cocoa. I'm sure that our ancestors long ago didn't have it quite this easy without power, but it did make me wonder what it would be like to take ourselves "off the grid".

I'm not sure I could do it long term. I have become accustomed to modern ways and modern toys. I would miss listening to music, the convenience of a quick warm meal, or hot water for a shower. Oh yes - how could I live without hot water?

Still, the thought intrigues me.

The power returned a bit over three hours later. I missed the silence. I missed the peacefulness. Even if you turn off the music, TV, and furnace, there is still the hum of the refrigerator and other electrical devices. Even if you turn off all the lights and heaters, you can still sense the electrical flow.

I finally found my groove again and got in a long day's work. One week ago I didn't think I would be able to accomplish all that I have, but I sit here tonight in awe of the amazing amount of artwork that has been completed over the past week. I finished three tapestries and am almost done with a third sculpture. The pieces have been in progress for almost 15 weeks and it feels good to see them coming to some sort of conclusion. Right now I am listening to the hum of a fan, blowing on a wooden pedestal that I just painted with acrylic paint. I am waiting for the paint to dry so that I can move on to the next step. It feels good to look around the studio and see all that has been accomplished in such a short time.

On another note, the North Pole called today. I normally wouldn't answer the phone on a Sunday morning when in the middle of work, but when Santa phones around the time of holidays, I think it best to Pick-up. It was his top elf calling with a message from the big guy. Apparently Santa was watching us in his big snow globe (yep, checking us out in Lubec, Maine) when he saw Chris, in an ecstatic frenzy, grab a gift from his Christmas stocking and tear apart the paper while dancing frantically around the room and gloating that he opened a gift and I couldn't do a single thing about it.

Well, I don't need to do anything. Seems Santa has taken care of things and Chris is on the probationary Naughty list. If I was in charge of all things festive, I think I would have just slid him right on over to the Naughty list with no chance of gift-receiving parole. But the big guy in the red suit has the final say.

It will be interesting come Solstice and Christmas, this year, won't it Chris?

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Rhythm and Repetition

Set-up and ready to start encaustics on the sequential pom/grenade sculpture series

Fusing the first layer of green encaustic medium onto the ceramic form.

Not quite done, but has three layers of green applied.

successful glaze firing unloaded today.

I've been thinking about some of the common themes that link all my work as an artist together. There are overlaps in concept that show up time and time again: mythology, war, feminism, spirituality, culture. I have also been thinking of the more concrete connections in my process and technical aspects of my work.

It seems that repetition is a common theme. I don't know how many times I have said to folks "I am not a production potter." It is true, I don't consider myself the typical potter who spends several hours a day cranking out fifty mugs for mass sale. However, I do work at the wheel and have been known to repeat the same form over and over again. It isn't so much that I have to do that, but I am finding that the process of repeating an action over and over is meditative for me.

I have been to plenty of retreats and workshops where I am told to "clear my mind and focus..." Oh, how I try. As well, there have been several attempts in my own private space. I have used 33 RPM records with speakers "guiding me" into that far-off space, or I have tried deep breathing methods, looking at the same spot for....hours? No, probably minutes. Okay, maybe seconds. But my mind always wanders. Ten minutes a day of meditation is supposed to be fabulous for the blood pressure. Why can't I do it?

It never fails, I hear that little creak in the floor in the other room, then my mind starts to wander. Next thing I know my quite un-focused mind is planning out a sculpture or thinking about what to make for dinner.

But there are times when my mind feels completely focused and balanced, when minutes turn into hours and time passes without me being aware. It's when I am working at the wheel, forming a sculpture, drawing, or weaving. These tasks, which all involve some sort of repetition, consume me and transport me to what feels another plane.

The latest fascination in my artwork is with industrial and military images. When thinking about this today, I remembered seeing a movie a few years ago with Bjork as the lead called "Dancer in the Dark, a Dutch musical about a factory worker who is going blind (set in 1960's Washington state). She is saving money for her son to have an operation to prevent the same hereditary disease. Bjork's character, Selma, goes into a trance or dream-like state where she fantasizes being in musical skits.

I thought I would share the video of one particular scene that has stuck with me - emphasizing the rhythm of the machines as she and others dance through the factory.

And while you are grooving to the industrial sounds of factory machines, I am off to grab dinner and sleep, and hope that I can adjust to the new time change with some degree of ease.


Sunday, October 17, 2010

Super-Feel-Good Week Adjusting to New Roles

Incendiary Grenade Sculpture

Small bowls waiting to be trimmed

Spinning coming along

Final bounty of the season

I had a great week. I confess that some (many) days the past couple months have been utlra-challenging. I've tried to focus on the positive and keep moving forward. So, in comparison, this past week felt like things were really starting to flow and make sense again. I am beginning adjust to my new routines and assignments; for a while there, it felt like total upheaval. So, this week I celebrate!

I have, in the past, been someone who would take a project and focus on it for hours on end. I like that intensity. But now, the shake-ups in my life have me moving in several different directions on any one given day, both at work and home. Yesterday I tried the new "way of doing things" in my studio - and to my surprise- it worked!

I began the day with a three-hour wheel-throwing session. Afterward, I spent four hours on a project for a client, then two hours on a tapestry, one hour spinning fibers, and an hour reading a book for a class assignment. I feel like I got quite a bit done and will try that same sort of routine today after I blog.

Other interesting highlights this past week included a technology workshop. My former profession before switching careers to art education was technology-based (both design and a quick stint teaching at college level before moving back to Maine) and I had thought that that part of my life was behind me. But it is funny how those things come back around. I am excited about the possibilities for our local students with the interactive equipment that will allow them to take their education beyond the walls of our school, to far-off places like the Smithsonian or even classrooms in other countries.

Another role that I play at school this year is that I am filling-in for the music position until a permanent teacher is hired. I never thought that I would be teaching music, but here I am. Who'da thunk it. Now that I am moving beyond the stress of being a "first year teacher" again, I am really enjoying it. It might just be hard to give up that position when the time comes!!! My history with music does go way back, from watching my mom's balalaika orchestra performances to my college job in a music store where I was exposed to all types of music and met many performers, to my time playing and performing with an awesome African drum ensemble when I was in my late twenties. This week, supply orders finally arrived at school. It felt like Christmas opening all those boxes. I think my favorite item that arrived was a Steel Drum. The kids love it too. I can imagine a steel drum band starting at our school. We'll see.

Spinning fibers is not as easy as it looks, but I think I just might be starting to get the hang of it. This week I will ply my first batch of yarn. Hopefully it will be usable for a tapestry, albeit a bit unruly, funky, and inconsistent. I have been working on two different tapestry projects; one for a client and one for a class assignment. I have come up with a an idea for a tapestry series and can't wait to see it unfold. It has sculptural elements and is definitely in the beginning experimental stage. I think that if I can structurally make it work, that this will only be the beginning of what is possible with that medium for me. I worked out the structural element while on a walk last summer. Crossing my fingers it all comes together!!!

Another awesome event this past week is that I finally finished the wet work for the "incendiary grenade". It is part of a clay sculpture series that I am working on and it draws in elements of both new work and a series that I began in 2007. Right now the sculpture is in two pieces but will eventually be permanently attached. I enjoyed the process with this piece, working large scale, combining wheel and slab work, and making those little faux bolts. Ultimately, the piece will incorporate light.

And just when this week couldn't get any better....Northern Tides launched their new website! It's a beautiful, professional site and I am pleased to be a part of their list of artists. Check it out. Deb and Jerry have been instrumental in changing the face of Lubec - or maybe better stated - in the "facelift" of Lubec. The downtown is starting to perk-up and is looking great!

Let's see, have I left anything out? Yes, lots of things, but I will blog about those later on. Today I am itching to get back into the studio. On a final note, I will share with you a video clip of the song "Steal My Kisses from You" by Ben Harper. When I hear this song, I can't help but smile. The toes start tapping, then the legs moving, the volume knob gets cranked...it just puts me in such a good mood. Enjoy!

source: youtube


Sunday, September 19, 2010

Taking Clues from Nature

Arachne center-stage

She must have been busy all night....

Foggy morning sunrise in Lubec

"The word Arachnida comes from the Greek for 'spider'. In legend, a girl called Arachne was turned into a spider by the goddess Athena. Arachne said she'd win a weaving contest against the goddess. Arachne won, but the Athena got mad and made her a spider, for challenging a goddess."
- Wikipedia (http://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arachnid)

Have you ever noticed how nature can sometimes be the wisest guide of all?

Meteoroligists can tell by weather patterns if a storm or bright skies are heading our way, but on some subconscious level, I think that we all have our own "meterologists" built-in. If open and observant enough, we can decipher the clues around us without any fancy equipment.

For instance, without looking at a printed calendar, we know that Autumn is upon us. The birds are bit less quiet in the morning, apples have fallen into piles to the ground, leaves are changing color, and the air feels crisp. The mornings are dark a bit longer, and the sun sinks down behind the trees around supper time.

This morning, I woke feeling well-rested and like my "change-of-season cold" is working its way out of my system. As I laid in bed, I thought of all the possibilities for today. When the weekend arrives I gobble up as much creative time as possible in the studio, but I am participating in the open studio tour this weekend and yesterday I was busy nonstop with visitors from 10:15 a.m. up until closing at 5:00 p.m. I enjoyed my day immensely but missed my time in the studio. At the end of the day, I spent about an hour and half with a current sculpture project, and that seemed to feed my craving temporarily. Today is day two of the tour, which is typically more quiet than the first day. So, it had me thinking that perhaps (maybe???) I could squeeze-in some personal creative time.

So many possibilities....do I start the next phase of the ceramic sculpture, or throw at the potter's wheel? Sketch some ideas (which seem to be coming faster than the hours I am allotted to bring them into physical manifestation), begin the next sculpture, or...or...or...????

I hauled myself out of bed and walked down the old, creaky stairs, greeted by the semi-stillness of the near-autumn morning. I gazed out the window overlooking the field and noted the pea-soup thick fog encroaching as each minute passed, all the while a ball of bright white sun was ascending from the bay.

Closer to to the door, opening it, and stepping onto the deck, I was awe-struck by the handiwork of Arachne. She must have been up all night working on her tapestry. There were glistening webs woven in several locations on the deck, each connected by a few single strands to one another, leading down from the deck to the lawn area where more webs were formed. Diagonal lines like high-wire lines moved this way or that, and each time my eyes followed them, I saw another perfectly constructed and quite intricate web. Had this one spider spun all these beautiful mazes? Was she inspired to create, or just particularly hungry and waiting for some yummy late-season newly-hatched flies to succumb to her trickery?

Either way, I got my answer. Today I weave.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Exciting Week of Business and Pleasure

Shanna weaving poolside at the Rossmount Inn
St. Andrews, New Brunswick, Canada

Tapestry just off the loom
Check back next week to see the finished piece

Chris on his first-ever ferry ride, Campobello to Deer Island

"Jade Moon Night Swim"
A close-up detail of the most recent tapestry that I completed

Successful kiln firing unloaded yesterday and pots have already made it into the shop space,
as well as a few at Northern Tides downtown Lubec


Lubec Arts Alive "Art on the Beach" a success!
Gorgeous weather, lots of people creating at low tide, Mowry Beach, Lubec
Here, Kara Bennet of Texas is plein air painting.

Chanterelles!

It has been an exciting fun-filled and busy week, so much so that I am once again late to blogging. It began with a wonderful overnight trip to St. Andrews to celebrate my birthday. Chris and I ferried from St. Andrews to Deer Island, where we happened upon a sweet place called Fireball Gallery. We met the owner and learned about her beautiful glass beads and jewelry, and also bought a lovely set of wheelthrown pottery mugs by another Canadian artist. It was a reverent moment for us to also find the cemetery and grave site of one of Chris's Native ancestors. This has sparked an interest in both of us gathering info on our family trees.

The Rossmount Inn provided us some much needed relaxation. The trip was far too short, but such a wonderful treat! We swam in the pool then I was able to work on a small tapestry poolside with my travel loom. That evening, we ate a gourmet feast at their in-house restaurant. Chris had the pleasure of meeting the chef outside in the garden where he was picking fresh vegetables and berries for the kitchen. Every course of our meal delighted us, perhaps the highlight being the crostinis with chanterelles mushrooms and the dessert of bee balm poached peaches in cream with fresh raspberries over pastry. Oh my! I need to send a note to my dentist thanking him for this referral.

We ended our trip the next morning with a stroll downtown St. Andrews. The open farmer's market was alive with tourists and live music. Vendors sold wares and foods. We picked up some fresh baba ganoush from an Indian vendor and fresh beets and chanterelles from a farmer.

When we arrived home we both retreated to our respective studios. When we go away, we are always itching to get back, inspired, to create.

I also had a pile of work to do to prep for Lubec Arts Alive. Friday night we had the world premiere screening of Jon Wing Lum's "Lubec Arts Alive Documentary". It was a packed house and the film amazed many. I will be updating the Lubec Arts Alive 2010 blogsite with full info on the event and the filmmaker, as well as the "Art on the Beach" event that took place the next day. The weekend deserves, and demands, my full attention with an inclusive blog entry. I should have that site updated within three weeks with lots of fabulous photos taken by Goodman/Van Riper Photography.

The glaze firing was unloaded yesterday and I was ecstatic that all pieces survived and looked fabulous! I tried a new glaze combo and am in love! The shop is restocked, just in time, since the day was busy-packed with visitors. I can't wait to get my hands back into the clay. The one thing that is difficult with clay is that I am forced to wait so long to see the finished product. I go back into the throwing cave this coming weekend, but the pieces I make, from throwing, to trimming, drying, bisque firing, glazing, then glaze firing, will take about a month. Longer if we encounter humid weather as as we did the past couple weeks. In the meantime, I will enjoy the weaving, and hopefully finish up the current piece early next week. Morning throwing sessions, then afternoon weaving. Ahhhhh...the artist's life. (we'll ignore, at this point, all the other business details like paperwork that goes along with it...and enjoy the blissful, peaceful vision of artist creating all day long everyday.)

An added bonus to this incredible past week is that Chris and I found some beautiful chanterelle mushrooms on one of our hikes. We got proper ID from Phillipe in town who I was told was the local mushroom expert. So delicious! Last night we sauteed them with butter and garlic and served them to our dear, beautiful, talented friends Nicky and Judy. What a feast!!! The dinner also consisted of fresh pesto made with basil fresh out of our little garden, as well as a stir fry with freshly-harvested lettuce, basil, and swiss chard, broiled tofu, and cous cous. The soy flour blueberry cake wasn't too shabby either!

I am off to my next appointment. Life is split-second timing right now, but it is all wonderful!

(note: please excuse any typos..no time to proof read!)

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Transformation Tapestry and Future Projects

Transformation Tapestry
2010, Shanna Wheelock, 48" x 67"
Clothing (natural fibers), alder, photographs, handmade Thai kozo paper

Transformation Book
2010, Shanna Wheelock, 4"x 126"
Paper, handmade Thai Kozo paper, linen, transfers, photographs


Pile of photos that made the second round of cuts

Tapestry in progress, adding the alder branches

At the very beginning....

Cutting the strips

Shanna weaving on the Beaver Stick Story Loom

Nana's Transformation Tapestry
2008, Shanna Wheelock, 16" x 60"
Clothing, metal, alder, handmade booklet (paper, photographs, ink)

The book in pocket with photos about Nana's life

Our lives are like artwork. We begin as a tiny dot of color. The painter's brush continues to add shapes and lines, and eventually, there is an image that tells a story. We can all recall different key moments in our own "life-painting" marked by a change in hue or direction in the brush-stroke. Every symbol that is added to the painting is essential to creating the masterpiece in its finished form. In the course of the creation, there might be times when something feels out of place or gets labeled as a mistake. But as the painting progresses, we find that some of these "mistakes" or out-of-place parts add to the character of the finished piece, might even make it better.

In a metaphysical sense, my own transformation tapestry began over forty years ago. I can recall events in my life, good and bad, that have made me who I am today. The past two years I have undergone what I consider to be monumental changes in the development of who I am as a human being: physically, spiritually, psychically, and emotionally.

In September of 2007, the two elders in our family crossed over to a new dimension in their being. Chris' Grandfather Richard Bell Jackson, and my Grandmother Glenis Delora Martin, died within five days of each other, leaving us in shock and deeply saddened.

As with many deaths, family members eventually grapple with having to sort through the deceased person's belongings. It is a difficult task and one that brings up memories as each article is passed through the hands. Every time I looked an at item of Nana's clothing, I associated it with an event or ritual. I remembered her wearing that blue-striped cotton shirt to my birthday party, or that terry cloth robe while watching TV before bedtime. It came to me that I wanted to commemorate both Nana and Richard by telling the story of them through their clothing.

About a month after Richard's passing, Chris' mom and cousin arrived to Lubec with a bag of clothing and baubles that held some sort of significance to Richard. The initial tearing of the clothes into strips was like exhaling after holding your breath underwater for hours. The grief began to disperse and memories were recalled of Richard in his purple sweatshirt or favorite pair of pants. His tapestry was colorful and outdoorsy. A carpenter's pencil was added, and other items that told the story of his love for building, art, reading, and animals. The process of this storytelling as we wove on the Earth Loom became a vehicle for healing.

Nana's clothing remained in my closet over the winter. It wasn't until springtime that I was able to open the bag and begin the sorting of articles that told her story. This time, with boxes of pictures in hand, I created a mini-scrapbook of her life. The finished piece was the essence of Nana. The colors alone reminded me of an old-handpainted photo of her, standing in a field of flowers, her hands fanning out her skirt, a kitten in each pocket. This photo always reminded me of her joyful energy. She was a survivor, a woman who was strong and independent, deeply spiritual in a quiet way, and a protectress tiger watching over her family of cubs.

Soon after the deaths of Richard and Nana, my own life offered up some unexpected twists and turns. Then began a two year transformation which became the basis for my own tapestry. For two years, I gathered clothes which sat in a bag in my closet. In January of this year, I opened the bag and began the sorting and cutting of my own life's fabric. It was a psychologically demanding task and at times stopped me in my tracks. I journaled the experience and over the course of five months, my transformation story unfolded.

The process began with me, change, and collecting. Then came the cutting, the weaving, and the sewing. I thought I would attach various objects to illustrate my journey, but instead, found the peacefulness of just a few branches to represent growth and a wooden circle to symbolize the moon and cycles to be enough. The booklet, which incorporates forty photos of me, one for each year of my life progressing from birth to present day, was an enormous task. It began with Mom pulling out boxes of thousands of photos that she and Nana had collected over the years. There's nothing like boxes of photos to tear you away from all of life and capture your attention fully for hours on end. I returned to Lubec with hundreds of pictures to choose from, at the time not sure which direction I would take.

It was over sixteen hours of sorting and scanning to narrow it down to only forty. But each one of those forty represents a vivid memory or key moment in my life.

Continuing the Transformation Tapestry Series
I hope to continue with the Transformation Tapestry series. I would like to work with clothing of people who have undergone some sort of major life change, whether it be a death, birth/maternity, your child's clothing from his/her first year of life, body transformation such as weight loss or gender re-assignment, illness, graduation from high school or college, travel, wedding. etc. Some tapestries I would incorporate as part of my profession, offering a service for people to memorialize, others I would like to keep as part of my own collection for gallery exhibits. I am not sure how to approach people for the clothing though, as I know that these life transformations are emotionally charged. But, I feel that this will fall into place as it is meant to, and will be a project that is both healing and celebratory. If you are interested in having a transformation tapestry created for yourself or a loved one, contact me via email and I will forward you the information.

My email is luna_spirit@yahoo.com

Body Image Project: Seeking Women's Experiences for Art Project
While working on my own Transformation Tapestry, I read the book "The Beauty Myth" by Naomi Wolf. I have created my own "survey" of questions for women about their own experiences and beliefs around body image. I plan to collect women's responses and use them to fuel an art project. At this time, I do not know what direction the project will take, as I am working intuitively. I only know so far that I need to collect women's experiences on paper. I am seeking women who would like to be a part of this project. All responses will be kept confidential and any quotes or stories used in my future art projects will be anonymous. If you are interested in participating, email me at: luna_spirit@yahoo.com

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Juggling It All

Beaver Stick Story Loom, linen warp

The pile

Preparing strips for weaving

Weaving

Progress being made

Sunday morning, I thought perhaps a leisurely entrance to the day with a late sleep, but Bello decided that 5:15 a.m. was the perfect time to rouse me. I would like to think that it was his deep adoration for me that brought all sixteen feline pounds of him kneading at my goose-down covered slumbering self, but it is more likely that he was hungry and demanding a can of marinated chicken morsels. Up I rose to begin the day, which in all actuality, is not so bad. Fog is slowly lifting and despite the current grey, we are expecting sunny skies and warm temps for this Oestre Sunday. Spring is finally emerging, the daffodils are sprouting, birds are chirping.

The past week seems a blur. A lot has transpired, pulling me in a multitude of directions. I try to keep my mind focused on last week's blog entry about letting go. I feel I can say that I have let go of the outcome in some respects, but while in the process of trying to elevate myself to that higher level of understanding, I found myself hanging on tighter than ever to other situations. I am starting to wonder if it is part of my path at this point to be a warrior of sorts and fight for what I truly believe in. I did not see this battle rising, but here it is. So, despite the understanding that whatever will be will be, I need to stand up for what I feel is right, to fight the injustice, in my own semi-pacifist style!

That being said, It felt great to have a weekend a bit more mellow than the past few. I worked overtime hours this week on my current clay sculpture. I had set a goal to finish all of the "wet-work" by last Friday night. It took me until 9:00 p.m. but I got it done. It was an incredible accomplishment and freeing of my mind, allowing me to focus on the long list of "to-do's" that had been building over the past month. I had been longing for the meditative ritual of weaving, and finally yesterday, I was able to return to the tapestry that I began in January. The new "Transformation Tapestry" is well on it's way, and time wise it is at mid point to completion. I am fickle though. One minute I love it, the next discouraged and wanting to start all over. Chris reminded me, though, that I always say, at this point in a tapestry, that I don't like what I am seeing. But somehow, it all comes together and I am happy in the end. I will hang onto that thought and see where it takes me.

This time of year, skilled organization and scheduling is deemed of greatest importance. We are in the final quarter of school and that means field trips, art shows and competitions, grading, service learning projects, room-cleaning, and submission of re-written curriculum to meet new state standards. I am trying to fit in my Spanish lessons a half hour here and there. Lubec Arts Alive meetings still happen regularly and we are preparing for a public exhibit of the portraits created last summer, due to open April 14th. My MFA projects are due in less than six weeks, and I am busy with marketing and prep for the seasonal opening of my business. Toss in a few road trips to see family, adjusting to my warrior status, and the usual spring house duties, and I seem to have my hands full. Not to mention, my plan book is pretty much filled for the entire summer already!

This all being said, I realize that I best end this blog entry and get to work! The sun is peeking through the fog and should energize me for the day ahead.


Saturday, March 13, 2010

On Being a Student Again: Lessons Learned

"Transformation Tapestry" in progress on the beaver-stick story loom


A component of the "Alphabet Project"





It's an interesting experience, to be a student again. I haven't stepped foot in a formal classroom (
other than my own) in over thirteen years since I was studying for teacher certification at USM.

I am now a first semester student enrolled in the MFA program at Heartwood College of Art, balancing my studies with full-time teaching, community organizing, family, and business. The part-time low residency program is perfect for me in that I am able to continue my regular teaching job while doing the bulk of my studies in my own studio space. The twelve-hour-a-week studio commitment seemed peanuts compared to the usual pace I keep. However, I soon learned that in order to meet the deadlines
I needed to devote much more than twelve hours a week.

Like my older high school students, when given the first assignment, I immediately grumbled. Whiny me, thinking, "why can't I just do what I want to do?" Eventually, I came around to a project idea that piqued my excitement. Would I have come up with this particular idea had I not been instructed to follow certain parameters? How literal do I need to be in the interpretation?

The Heartwood program is set-up as two "classes" per semester. This inaugural semester we were asked to write two project proposals. One proposal was for something called the "Alphabet Project" which involves studying and rendering an object twenty six times.

Let me repeat this number in case it didn't register. Twenty-six (26).

I wanted to study fine arts so that I could focus on one-of-a-kind unique sculptures that would draw my attention away from the production pottery I had been doing the past few years. Isn't this, sort of, production work?

Eventually, after hours of sketching, researching, and thinking, I found an object that I could create twenty-six times while making each one a smaller component of a greater whole.

I began the actual sculpting the third week of January. Again, like my students, I hit a few rough spots. I had an idea I liked, but I didn't foresee some of the technical problems that I would have. In my mind's eye, and on paper, It all looked smooth-sailing. I have been working with clay for over twenty years and what could be so difficult in sculpting this little object a few times over?

Boy was I wrong. I came up against challenges like never before. It all appeared so simple at first, and by this point, I sure was wishing I could change my project. "Ah teacher...can I throw this one out and start all over again? Please?"

Since I usually say no to my own students, this just wasn't an option for me. So, forward I progressed.

Yesterday was a critical moment in the creation of this series. I had spent many hours working my ideas out on paper and in my mind for this particular component. I was a bit anxious, not knowing if I could make it happen. It took a few hours and two solid attempts, but I got the prototype created and am pleased with the result. Finally, I feel like my mind can rest a bit and I can let my hands do the work.

This will, however, be just a short respite from the heavy cerebral stuff. My mind will be buzzing overtime soon enough as I begin to plan for the next phase of the project.

It is good for me to be a student again. It encourages me to think a bit deeper than normal about what I am sculpting, to analyze my process, and to articulate my ideas in a way that others will understand. I am gaining new empathy for my own students, and showing them that the process can be difficult for even a somewhat honed artist, but the rewards are great. My students are able to see the passion that drives me as an artist and a teacher, and it is that passion that in turn inspires my students.

I am learning lessons as I go. Some lessons are repeat lessons, lessons that I
thought I had learned but never really fully embraced. Perhaps this is sort of like a distinction between "book knowledge" and "hands-on experience". And, sometimes, you just have to brush-up once in a while, lest you forget.

Lessons Learned:

1. Artists are given a problem to solve and if left to their own, will come up with a creative solution. It may not fit the literal interpretation of the "rules" exactly, but artists like to add their own spin to things...and more importantly, are expected to.


2. Things don't always go as planned. You can plan on it!

3. Perfectionism is a myth, and if you always strive for it, you will be discouraged many-a-time.

4. Process is equal to, or greater than, the final product. It's all about the journey.


I end this week's blog with a quote from the book
Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. Though primarily about the experience of being a writer, I felt that this analogy related quite well to the work of visual artists. It has helped me to put my sometimes harrowing first semester MFA project experience into perspective.

"Writing a novel is like driving a car at night, you can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."